Our Story: Chapter 1

I would like to write a story. It's about me and my dear late wife. I loved her so much it hurt me to the bone of my soul. She gone too early, yet it was written somewhere in the universe that she will go before me, her parents even. Somehow I accepted it as it was Allah's will. Only He knows everything. 

               She left without saying goodbye to her two sons and a daughter. I regret that I haven't been at her bedside while she was awake. I regret not to kiss her lots before she was buried.

            This story evolves around her. Her hardships, her hard will, her pure heart that touched everybody's. She can be categorized as "been there, done that" type of lady.  You can say this is her official biography, Siti Azura binti Md Johar Tuhid by me, her husband who missed her in every single breath I took.

Prologue

            Missing her is an understatement. I was a wrecked when she passed. Nobody knew, because I kept a smiling face, joking and clowning around. It is all a charade around friends and family, especially Tuah (pronounce as two-uh), Aniq (pronounce as un-nick) and Intan (pronounce as in-tun), our three lovely and beautiful children. I have to show them that everything is going to be fine, we will be great and we will survive. I promised them that we will be okay.

At night I cry myself to sleep. Though I let her go, I forgave her and ‘redha’ her passing, but I was still devastated. I wept because I missed her and wonder if she ever forgave me for the things that i did wrong to her. Future seems bleak without her love, and my children will never be able to have and feel her motherly love anymore. There were so many unanswered questions. I was scared.

            Siti was a perfect wife (for me) and a loving mother. We have our ups and downs, we had our quarrel once or twice but we love each other more today than yesterday. She was always smiling (she even smile on her deathbed) always laughing in front of others though she was in pain, she still smiled. Every time family and friends ask how is she, she always say that she is well, though she knew that she will joined others before her. 

            She passed away  on 17^th January 2007, at 3am, and left Muhammad Majed Tuah; 8years old, Muhammad Aniq Jebat, 5, and Intan Seri Diyana, 2 years old. She was 34. May Allah rest her soul and placed her with soleh and solehah people. 

            So, read on, friends. Please don’t be judgmental. All this had passed, it is done. Take it as a past time reading material, even as an ikhtibar. Please forgive me if it touched your heart, or hurt your feeling. It was not my intention. I posted it because I want everybody to know her, to love her as many others did. If it does hurt your feeling please tell me why, and I will do the appropriate adjustment. If any of you who knew Siti, feel free to add here and there. All that I written here is the truth (maybe a few snips here and there to protect confidentiality). No holds barred. Uncut. On with the story of her life! Or is it already begun?

... to be continued