Our Story : Chapter 8 : The 2nd 1st Date.

The 2^nd 1^st Date

I can’t find a single word to express and to explain to you how I felt the day she called. After the break up I felt guilty. I felt that I made a mistake, big mistake. I was regretting my decision a few days later, but my ego and male machismo was so high I didn’t call her and ask her back. When she called I was practically screaming her name in her ear. I immediately ask her to meet me. I want to see her so bad. We set up to see each other on the next day, 8.00pm, Ampang Park shopping, mall.

I borrowed my father’s car and went to see her. She wore a vertical blue and white stripe jump suit, and a loose shirt. I was there early, I want to make amends, but she was earlier. She smiled when she saw me, and offered her hand. She was stunning! Total different from the last time I saw her. She cut her hair short. (She had a very long hair before). she have this  glow that I guess I never saw before, or never noticed it, or maybe never acknowledge it. What I saw was a beauty for me beyond compare. My heart goes to her…and this time I am really in love with her, and I vow to myself to never let her go again. If only she accepted me again….

I have some money this time, so we went to a nearest fast food and had dinner. I talked, she listened. She talked and acted like there’s no space and no ridge between us. It was just, I guessed, at that time a casual dinner with a long lost friend. I didn’t force her to accepting me again. I just told her I was wronged and I am sorry, begging her forgiveness. I also told her that I missed her and that I was not seeing any one after I broke up with her.

She didn’t say anything about accepting me again. As far as I know she most probably have someone else, but it didn't stop me from rambling like an idiot. When the time comes to go back I send her home. She still stayed at the same place. She asked me to drop her at the back gate (there’s a small gate for entries and exit).

As she exited herself from the car, she leans over and gave me a kiss on my cheek. It was electrifying! It was my first kiss comes from some one that is not a family. She blushed and said, while stepping out from the car, “I never did stop loving you…”

I smiled and drove away. She never said that she accepted me, and it broke my heart. I enjoyed the time I spent with her that day, but I knew that (so I thought) it was too good to be true, to continue what we had before. I did break Siti’s heart first, maybe I deserved it. I went straight home, didn’t feel like going anywhere but sleep. I was done. I was hoping that at least she wanted to be friends, but she didn’t say anything. Her kiss still lingering on my cheek all night, it was like she just wanted to show me what I’ve been missing with my decision a year and a half ago…

Later that night she called, and she comes straight to the point. She told me she was a different person. I answered; I don’t care. She told me that she may not be the right person for me; I answered; I don’t care. She said that I will regret if we were together again, but I said; you guessed it people; I do not care. I told her that I missed her and I realized how much I love her. I will not ask about her past, but I promised her the future, and I will never ever say and asked to break with her again. She laughed that magical laugh, and said, okay.

Have you ever felt that you are drowning helplessly, and then a hand grab you and bring you to dry land? The relief; the heaviness of dread just lift up from your shoulder, as quickly as it came. It was like an invisible hand was holding your heart, grabbing it and gradually while holding your heart, making a fist, but then it suddenly let it go and your heart is pumping normally again. The phone in my hand suddenly becomes as light as a feather. Siti  and I talked till dawn….

1993

... to be continued