It has been almost 5 years I haven't been able to throw away a single things that belong to her, and every time I thought I have a courage to do so I chickened out. My heart started pumping faster, my eyes begin to water, even my hands started to shiver. So I stop and packed her things back in a box and reminded my self that i will do it later. Yes I did give away a few things, clothes, tudungs, accessories, but I still keep things that I felt close to, things that I loved to see her wearing it. Even her undies I havent had the heart to throw it away. My jewel, Intan even asked me to keep a few things (not the undies mind you) that she found pretty so she could wear it when she is bigger and older.
I know it sounded pathetic, even cruel for me to still keep hanging on to this stuff, and I know she will not come back to wear all of her belongings and I also know that if I ever marry again my future wife will not want to have my late wife's stuff.
This end of 2011, I decided to rent out my beloved house, since I need the money, (my children is getting bigger but my salary getting lesser) but the problem is that the house is still full with furnitures, clothes and all the small and tiny stuff of a house. I guess it is time for the children and I to let go the stuffs which we felt a lot of memories disturb feeling. (kenangan mengusik jiwa)
We literary dive into our stuff that may be possibly be a lot of rubbish for some but precious to us. There was a lot! At the end things that we decided to keep, a little of it we felt unneeded. Overall things still piling up, we had to move it before end of this month, before the new tenants come in, and the stuff most importantly we don't know where to put it.
What am I to do? My parents house, though big had no more space to spare. A few of the furniture I think I can squeeze it in, but most of it I have to throw it away. I guess if I do find someone who sacrifice herself to be with me and my children for the rest of my life what left of it, I have no choice but buy new. Hope she can share the cost.(ha-ha)
Still the same problem occurred, I still have that beat of my heart, that water in my eyes, the shake of my hands to either throw or keep my late beloved wife's stuffs. Standing tall I have to do it, I want to do it, I need to do it on my own. I really hope I could throw or give away most of it but keep at least a box of her precious memories... or two...maybe three. Standing tall my a**!
hafiz's 121211
I know it sounded pathetic, even cruel for me to still keep hanging on to this stuff, and I know she will not come back to wear all of her belongings and I also know that if I ever marry again my future wife will not want to have my late wife's stuff.
This end of 2011, I decided to rent out my beloved house, since I need the money, (my children is getting bigger but my salary getting lesser) but the problem is that the house is still full with furnitures, clothes and all the small and tiny stuff of a house. I guess it is time for the children and I to let go the stuffs which we felt a lot of memories disturb feeling. (kenangan mengusik jiwa)
We literary dive into our stuff that may be possibly be a lot of rubbish for some but precious to us. There was a lot! At the end things that we decided to keep, a little of it we felt unneeded. Overall things still piling up, we had to move it before end of this month, before the new tenants come in, and the stuff most importantly we don't know where to put it.
What am I to do? My parents house, though big had no more space to spare. A few of the furniture I think I can squeeze it in, but most of it I have to throw it away. I guess if I do find someone who sacrifice herself to be with me and my children for the rest of my life what left of it, I have no choice but buy new. Hope she can share the cost.(ha-ha)
Still the same problem occurred, I still have that beat of my heart, that water in my eyes, the shake of my hands to either throw or keep my late beloved wife's stuffs. Standing tall I have to do it, I want to do it, I need to do it on my own. I really hope I could throw or give away most of it but keep at least a box of her precious memories... or two...maybe three. Standing tall my a**!
hafiz's 121211
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