We have been together for almost 5 years, and we know that someday we will get married but somehow it was not in our agenda at that point of time. I was also afraid to tell my parents. I came from a big family. I have 2 older sisters, 3 older brothers and a younger sister. I am the 6th child from seven siblings.
One of my biggest problem was my two elder brothers were still not yet married. One of them didn’t have any girlfriend even. In our culture a younger sibling marrying another before they do, was like stepping a rocky stone, but luckily my parents was not that orthodox. Still, to utter the words to them was scary. So I keep my mouth shut and waited for them until that one fine day.
It was one of the weekend on august 1997, I was at the time was at home. I knew her parents were at Siti’s, so I didn’t have any plan with her, I knew she want to spend her time with her family, so I stayed home. When I received the call, she came straight to the point and asked me to come to her house. Her father wants to have a word with me. I asked why, and all she answered was “just come.” I can hear the trembled in her voice, I am not sure either the tremble was due to excitement or she was scared.
In half an hour I was on my bike and on the way to her house, they were patiently waiting for me at the dining table. I said my greetings and shake hands (hand kissed and all), her father asked me to sit down. My Siti sat beside me and smile. The first question from her father made me sat straight. “Do you love my daughter, Hafiz?”
“Yes, Pakcik, I do.” said I.
“Do you Along (a name she called her 1st born), love Hafiz?” he asked again.
“Yes, Abah, I love him so much.” Her answer made me proud and I squeezed her delicate hand.
“What is your future plan, Hafiz? You had been dating Along for almost ten years now, when do you plan to tie the knot. Both of you are old enough and I love you like a son, so I do want you to be my son in law.” His face was so serious. Siti’s mother was sitting beside her husband and keeps nodding her head.
I considered my answer and said; “I do want to marry her, Pakcik, Makcik, but my two brothers are still not yet married. I have to wait for them.”
“When?” he asked.
“I am not sure…” it was the best answer I could gave at that time, and it was the wrong answer.
“A few days ago a group came to my house and asked about Along. They were asking for her hand. Pakcik told them that my daughter had someone else in mind, and she also was going to be engage soon. I don’t like to lie, Hafiz, so I really like you to come with your family and make it happen, as soon as possible. I am not asking you to marry Along in this near future. Just an engagement, so other people would not come and try to take her away from you.” Her father explained.
I was lost for words, at the same time excited because I have her parents blessing. I didn’t know how to answer. It was not a request. It was a choice. Either I come and sent my family to ask for her hand, or I lost her to someone else, and that was not an option I want to consider.
While I again squeezing my lover’s hand to gain strength, I answered, “Okay, pakcik. I will tell my parents and will try to persuade them.”
We started to discuss the date and time for my family and I could come. It was set on school holidays, November 9th. We then discussed the appropriate things like the gifts, what to bring, what to do and what cannot, so on and so forth.
The trip back home was a blur. I didn’t notice that I reached home when I did. In my mind I was trying to find the rights words and phrase to ask my parents my plan to step over my brother’s. It was almost dark when I reached home, so, I took a bath and prayed. After isyak, as usual, my parents was sitting and was watching the tube at the living room. I sat down and joined them.
My heart was pounding heart. It was so hard that I felt like my heart was beside my ear drums, but a man got to do what a man got to do. “Ayah, N’cek (we called my mother N’cek, it is a culture from my father's side), I have something important to tell you.” I blurted out.
At that time I was alone with my parents in the house, we always do. My eldest sister, Yus was still at Bristol UK. She followed her husband Abang E who is working with Proton. My second sister Munirah is in Segamat with her family, teaching secondary school, my brother Yasir staying in Kelana Jaya also with his family, my other brother Mazhar was at that time still working, my brother Safwat was staying and still studying in Serdang and last but not least my younger sister was still studying and stayed at UITM Shah Alam.
My parents watched me and waited. I felt that a drop of sweat streamed down my face. There was no backing out now; “I want to get engage with Siti on 9th November at her parents place in Johore.” It was a straight to the point no question ask statement. I could felt that my face was white. Suddenly it was quiet. Even the television was not making sound. All my hearing senses was concentrating and waiting for my father’s answer.
...to be continued...
...to be continued...
